When Love Hurts: Understanding the Link Between Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time to bring attention to a crisis that affects millions of individuals across the country and often goes unseen behind closed doors. At V.O.I.C.E.S. Against Sexual Assault, we stand with survivors of all forms of interpersonal violence, including those who have experienced sexual assault within intimate relationships.
Sexual assault and domestic violence are deeply connected. Many survivors we serve were hurt not by strangers, but by people they once trusted: partners, spouses, or individuals who claimed to love them. The betrayal, manipulation, and fear that accompany this kind of trauma often make it harder to leave, harder to heal, and harder to speak out.
That’s why we are committed not only to helping survivors find safety, but also to educating communities and preventing cycles of harm.
What Is Intimate Partner Sexual Violence?
Sexual violence in relationships can look different from what’s often portrayed in the media. It may not involve physical force or threats. Sometimes, it takes the form of coercion, pressure, guilt, or manipulation. It can include:
Being forced or pressured to have sex
Being punished with silence, anger, or rejection for saying no
Having sexual acts filmed, photographed, or shared without consent
Feeling like you don’t have a choice without risking safety or love
For many survivors, this type of abuse is compounded by emotional, verbal, financial, or physical control, trapping them in a cycle of fear, confusion, and shame.
Why Survivors Stay Silent
Leaving an abusive relationship is never as simple as it seems from the outside. Survivors may fear retaliation, homelessness, losing custody of children, or not being believed. Some have had their finances controlled or their self-worth eroded to the point that they no longer see a way out.
And when sexual assault happens within a relationship, survivors often question:
“Was it really assault if we were together?”
“Will anyone believe me?”
“Does it still count if I didn’t fight back?”
The answer is yes. Consent is always required, no matter the relationship.
How VOICES Supports Survivors of Relationship-Based Assault
At VOICES, we meet survivors wherever they are in their journey. Whether someone is still in an abusive relationship, has recently left, or is processing past trauma, we offer a path forward.
Through our Healing Voices programs and retreats, survivors receive:
Free individual therapy and trauma-informed coaching
Safe, confidential virtual support groups
Psychoeducation about the dynamics of abuse and the trauma bond
Tools to rebuild confidence, set healthy boundaries, and navigate relationships moving forward
A holistic approach to healing that includes breathwork, mindfulness, body-based practices, and community support
We also partner with local domestic violence organizations and shelters to provide extended care when needed. Survivors don’t have to navigate this alone.
Walk a Mile in Her Shoes: A Community Commitment to Change
Each October, we host our annual Walk a Mile in Her Shoes event, a powerful community gathering where men, women, families, and allies walk together to raise awareness about sexual and domestic violence. Participants symbolically step into the shoes of survivors to honor their stories and advocate for change.
This event is more than symbolic; it’s a call to action.
Funds raised through Walk a Mile in Her Shoes go directly toward our survivor support services, including therapy, coaching, and retreats. The event also sparks vital conversations in schools, families, and workplaces about consent, respect, and healthy relationships.
If you want to make a tangible difference this Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this is a chance to show up.
Final Thought
Domestic violence and sexual assault are not private issues...they are public health and human rights concerns that affect every community.
At VOICES, we believe that by educating, supporting, and standing beside survivors, we can create a future where love never hurts, and silence is no longer a survivor’s only option.
Join us this October. Walk. Donate. Learn. Speak up.
Because healing is possible, and no one should have to walk that road alone.